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BREAKING: Democrats Pass Hospital Debt Repayment Bill

AUGUSTA – Maine Democrats, led by Senate President Justin Alfond (D-Cumberland) and Speaker of the House Mark Eves (D-North Berwick), announced Monday morning that they are willing to pass Republican Gov. Paul R. LePage’s hospital repayment bill with no strings attached.

“We’re tired of playing games with the Governor,” said Alfond. “It was fun slow-walking his budget so we could beat up on him in the newspapers, but we’ve decided to grow up and move forward with his bill because it is the responsible thing to do,” he said.

Eves said he and Alfond decided to lead the charge in favor of LePage’s bill after having a come-to-Jesus moment during Easter.

“Justin and I were sharing an Easter ham together and we just had a moment,” said Eves. “We just had this moment when we looked deep into each others eyes and decided, you know, maybe this LePage guy isn’t evil after all. Maybe we can work with him,” he said.

Neither Eves nor Alfond would confirm that LePage’s proposed swap – his pension for a hospital bill – had anything to do with the Democrats’ change of heart.

The Governor was pleased to learn that Eves and Alfond have seen the light, but he said he would remain cautiously optimistic.

“I’m not buying their latest tricks,” said LePage. “These guys have tried to sell my house and steal my pension, then they make me out to be the bad guy,” he said. “I’ll believe they’re serious about paying the hospitals when they put a bill on my desk.”

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