The wife of the leading Democrat U.S. Senate candidate from Maine has suddenly come out of hiding to pitch “universal healthcare” amid her out-of-country infertility treatments.
Amy Gertner hadn’t been seen for three months until she and candidate Graham Platner apparently decided Wednesday they needed to put an end to her mysterious disappearance.
The last time we heard from Gertner was when she was touting her husband’s “great sperm” in a January announcement of their traveling to the country of Norway for IVF treatments.
When Graham needed her most, amid opponent Janet Mills recently blasting him for sexual insensitivity, Amy was nowhere to be found.
Amid their struggle to get pregnant Gertner had written a column decrying the loss of anonymity that the campaign brought.
“Before the campaign, Graham would always wake up before the rest of the house. As morning’s first light came in over Frenchman Bay, he’d let me sleep in as long as I could. He would feed our elderly cat, Neptune, take the dogs out and start working. His footsteps and the sounds of tinkering around the house gave me comfort, and as newlyweds, those noises started building the soundtrack of our marriage.”
That was Amy Gertner three months ago in a wistful, melancholy newspaper column talking about the bearded, tattooed oyster hunk she met on Bumble, each paragraph starting out with the words “before the campaign.”
The subliminal column was about how life had changed for the worse once her bearded oyster had thrust them both into the searing public eye.
“Graham has great sperm,” she had cooed in a campaign commercial three months ago about their problems getting pregnant and seeking IVF treatments.
In the new commercial, Gertner expresses that “it feels really great to have extra support as Graham and I are going through the IVF as well as the Senate campaign.”
Then it was on to a pitch for “universal healthcare” that the couple touts as a way for women to avoid having to leave the U.S. to avoid the high domestic cost of reproductive therapy.
“Graham and I just want to say thank you for the support as we go through this IVF journey,” she says. “I wish there were another word other than journey.”
Before the campaign, he would often cook breakfast for me: bacon, potatoes, peppers and onions, all mixed in with scrambled eggs. I’d come downstairs to the sound of sizzling cast-iron pans overpowered by sea shanties and Irish punk rock. A handsome, wild-haired husband would greet me with a smile. Sweet and loving, soulful and spirited, and when he smiles, his eyes actually twinkle.
Now, we are growing together as a candidate couple. We are still making eggs for breakfast and bickering over who will empty Neptune’s litter box. He still splits the wood with an ax he made while I handle the laundry. Our visions of hope for the future remain the same — we still want to raise a family in the state that raised us and continue to dream together. I admire my husband for his ability to evolve and for his journey of personal growth. I admire his quest for truth about the world and himself. I love Graham for believing in me as his new fishwife. My marriage to Graham feels like hope, like the morning light streaming in over the bay. – Amy Gertner
Graham the sham
Barf!
BTW, editors, things change for the worst, not worse.