The Full Alexandria


Maybe you’ve seen The Full Monty, or at least heard of it. It’s a bit dated in this age of gender non-conformity.  Hence a variant I imagine as The Full Alexandria, in which players of unrestricted “expression” take part in a theatrical festival of inclusiveness.

For purposes here, expression includes not only matters of gender, but more to the point, ideology.  Alexandria refers to Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez, the reigning femme fatale of the solidly mainstream extreme left.

For a hardcore, lifelong conservative like myself, the mere mention of socialism, or it’s drag persona—social democracy—is enough to send me to the bunker with a small batch bourbon. The celebration in recent years of Bernie Sanders, followed more recently by Ms. Ocasio-Cortez, Kirsten Gillibrand, Andrew Gillum, and innumerable others is a movie made in hell. Add hordes of gullible, supposedly well-educated millennials, and the nation seems on a collision course of voluntary self-destruction.

Yet as the winds of change continue blowing in my face, ably reported and abetted by the usual suspects, the widespread fascination of pre-senility adults and our newest generations with certifiably destructive ideology gave me pause. Could millions of newly minted voters be so wrong, and so easily led astray by those who’ve been around long enough to know better?

So I paused, if only for the mental exercise. This called for cognitive contortions with which I was unfamiliar, but I persevered to arrive at some approximation of coherent analysis. Herewith, as a result, a random list of the benefits and advantages obvious to clear thinkers, even if the leading advocates of the socialist dream have yet to identify and promote them.

  • An end to incivility and partisanship deriving from the idiotic notion of democratic self-government. Once the inevitable dictatorial regime is in place, dissent, debate and other forms of derision will not be tolerated. Challenges to policy will not occur; proven methods like re-education camps, or when necessary, liquidation, will ensure acceptance and tranquility.
  • No more income inequality (except for those in the regime). Once markets and the spoils of capitalism evaporate, as they surely will, inequality will not be possible, and the regime will see to it. No more will some be able to use their freedom to rise above others and prosper on the backs of workers. Fat cat one-percenters, except for those in the regime, will no longer lord over the masses.
  • As a result, obviously, you’ll no longer need to plan for or worry about your retirement. In fact, once the regime establishes the allowable maximum life expectancy, you’ll be able to not plan the rest of your life with new-found specificity.
  • The word “public” as in public schools or public libraries will no longer be used in allowable discourse either in print or speech. The word “Peoples” will be used instead.
  • No more health care concerns. You’ll get what the regime gives you and—surprise—you will like it! Including the elimination of what was once known as your ‘declining years.’ No more worries about being warehoused in yucky nursing homes. Finally, an end to the poor and elderly suffering and being deprived of critical care.
  • Elimination of big money in politics. Since there will be only one “party”—the regime there will be no elections at any level. Think of it—no more worries about foreign interference with elections, no political campaign signs despoiling the Peoples thoroughfares, no ballot box cheating or rigging and no money at all in politics. Except, of course, for the tribute amounts paid to the regime, which they swear will not influence their behavior.
  • An end to raging battles over appointments to the Supreme Court. The regime don’t need no stinking courts, except for those necessary to rubber stamp directed liquidations, which decisions will be made with dispatch and carried out promptly. Come to think of it, since there will no longer be an elected congress, the ideas of advice and consent, oversight, accountability, and checks and balances will no longer be in the mix. Smaller government, here we come!
  • No more expensive Armed Forces and the Military Industrial Complex to fund and take away from other priorities. When you think about it, there will no longer be much that other nations might want from us, so there really won’t be anything that requires elaborate defenses. Just look to Central America for ample evidence that states don’t really have to worry about armed forces of defense. Select lucky members of the forces, however, will be transitioned into the Peoples’ State Police, which will have stations in every municipality, and answer directly to the regime.
  • The demise of the tech elites who dominate our civilization with their total control of the digital infrastructure and the knowledge allowed to be accessed by the population, along with management of speech in all its dimensions. Come to think of it, though, the Zuck and several others might be useful to the regime as it establishes and controls the flow and exchange of all information and speech. …the Zuck may be a “popular” choice for a slot high up the dictatorial org chart.
  • An end to worries about the cost of a college education. What good would it do if it was even possible to get one? Do you really want to pledge allegiance to the regime so you can learn how to be an obedient member of the elite intelligentsia in the thought control agencies?
  • Finally, an end to problems caused by uncontrolled immigration, and national arguments about “building that wall.” How many people are risking their lives to enter Venezuela, Cuba, or Guatemala illegally? Once our Full Alexandria Society is purring along, do you really think thousands upon thousands will put their lives at risk to travel here, break in, and share our misery? (Note to Bernie and Alexandria: there’s a reason ‘caravans’ are headed North to the US instead of South to Venezuela.)
  • Now that I think of it, maybe we will need “The Wall” after all. Sometimes you need a wall to keep people in, not out. Think Berlin Wall; I’m not much of a historian, but best I can recall, it wasn’t built to prevent others from “breaking in” to the Soviet controlled Utopia that was East Germany. Besides, the regime will need to provide useful work for the masses, and it might as well be building impregnable walls around the entire country. Think of the millions who will, in the process, brand themselves as full-fledged residents of a worker’s paradise! Oh, and I suppose we’ll need to build a stupendously large public “square” as well, with massive parade grounds surrounded by magnificent buildings housing the regime.
  • And last, but not least, an end to worries about keeping up with the Jones-Ramirez family around the corner. Giving up our freedom will ensure our equality, at least as dictated by the dear leaders in our regime.

Wow….I’m pooped after thinking about this all. Perhaps you can come up with your own list of benefits that will accrue, and post them here in comments or subsequent submissions. You might also want to keep an eye on the supply of toilet paper at your local grocery store; it will likely become the leading indicator of the transition in our governance.

All hail the Utopian States of America, and its beloved Founding Dreamers!


Please enter your comment!
Please enter your name here