If only he were able to gnaw through his ankle bracelet, the Liver King could quit the Texas heat for a spell and check out the possibilities that lie in wait for him in cooler Maine, where liver is plentiful and cheap. But now being a law-abiding man, the primal influencer will likely secure permission first.
Gov. Janet Mills, who has a longstanding beef with Trump’s tariffs allegedly killing Canadian tourism, might consider trying a new tack and inviting a Texan – beef-loving Brian Johnson to pay Maine a visit and promote our plentitude of bovine organs.
In fact, the Pine Tree State would be a virtual smorgasbord for the “Liver King,” with beef farms dotted all over the state – Charleston, South Paris, Sidney, Bowdoinham, Hermon, Blue Hill – hawking beef liver.
Seems like a match made in heaven – a liver-spotted governor who has an ongoing gristle with President Trump and a “livertarian” who’s been ordered by a judge to stay away from fellow Texan Joe Rogan – the podcaster he’s accused of threatening.
In fact, Maine has a multitude of beef farmers with ready-made promotions for the Liver King. So Janet won’t have to spend a dime of her tourism budget for this cattle call.
“Looking for a delicious and healthy way to boost your vitality? Our beef liver is packed with vitamins and minerals!” says Apple Creek Farm of Bowdoinham.
“Organ meat can be one of the healthiest things you can eat – if the animal is raised right like our cattle at Heartstone Farms,” says the Charleston farm.
“Our animals have room to roam, clean air to breathe, and lots of TLC, so you can count on the highest quality liver. Enjoy its rich, savory flavor and benefit from a plethora of essential nutrients, including high protein, iron, vitamins A, and the highest levels of B-12 of any beef cut.”
Wow on wow. Bet America’s bad-boy fitness influencer will be oh-so happy here.
Well, unless he finds another libertarian he wants to devour, Rogan style. Or a liberal Maine beef-eschewing granola, Chellie style.
Johnson, arrested this week for threatening Rogan, has garnered millions of followers on social media as a health influencer who’s claimed his muscular physique was attained eating raw meat.
Since there’s no immediate evidence that the Liver King has visited Maine, high time he’s ventured east. No doubt he’d find himself at home (eating liver, that is, not lobster).
Liver King’s new Maine motto: “Lobster Ain’t Chopped Liver.”
He’s among the few you’ll not find looking for a lobster roll this summer at Red’s Eats or Sprague’s Lobster.
But it’s a sure bet he’ll stop at, say, a place such as Wolf Creek Farm in Sidney, where he can grab a whole pound of beef liver for $4.75.
Lot cheaper than a $35 lobster roll. (And good for you, too, Mr. Liver King.)
