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Home » News » News » “Independent Investigative Journalism” Is Like ‘Cracker Jacks’ – It Comes With A Free Prize
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“Independent Investigative Journalism” Is Like ‘Cracker Jacks’ – It Comes With A Free Prize

Ted CohenBy Ted CohenApril 29, 2025Updated:April 29, 20256 Comments3 Mins Read
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A Maine “journalist” who says he “goes places – and tells stories – that other media won’t” also does something other media don’t – gives away free pot.

Now there’s journalism we can get behind!

Or heck, get high on.

That Crash Barry, he’s a Cracker Jack!

Seems Barry, who prides himself on journalistic independence, decided one way to increase his numbers – or “hits,” so to speak – is giving away, well, hits.

To wit, Crash announced on his Facebook page that he’s awarded his latest freebies to a guy named Noel Kirwan, who bills himself on Facebook as proprietor of “Kerwan imports and seafood.”

Kirwan is also the proud recipient of some free hits, compliments Crash Barry.

“Congrats to Noel Kirwan, one of three winners of The Crash Report’s ‘4-20 Canna-Contest,’” Crash posted.

“Noel told me he’s a ‘very happy chappie’ after receiving pint jars of Lemon Diesel, Blue Dream, Durban Poison and (my fav) OG Kush, plus copies of Sex, Drugs and Blueberries (the book and film), Tough Island and Marijuana Valley.”

“Thanks, Noel, for being a longtime loyal reader and subscriber to The Crash Report.”

But unfortunately for Crash’s followers, the road to a quick high comes at a price.

Crash laments that “due to a mind-blowing and astounding out-of-state fact-finding mission, publication of the latest Crash Report has been delayed, slightly, ’til I get my head on straight.”

Crash Report, aka The Cheech and Chong Gazette?

Crash’s promotional material says that besides being wedded to “independent journalism,” he also has a fondness for “devils and dirtbags, sex, drugs and blueberries.”

But seriously, Crash is more than just devils, dirtbags, sex, drugs and blueberries.

“The Crash Report goes places – and tells stories – that other media won’t,” his dotcom explains. “Curated and edited by longtime Maine investigative journalist and author Crash Barry, The Crash Report afflicts the comfortable and comforts the afflicted.”

The line about afflicting the comfortable and comforting the afflicted was originated by Finley Peter Dunne, who came to the fore during the “muckraking” era of journalism.

So come on Crash, give credit where credit is due. In journalism we call it attribution.

How his recent campaign to get a pro-Trump employee fired from Dunkin Donuts squares with “afflicting the comfortable” might require more than a few tokes to reconcile.

[RELATED: Deranged Leftist Admits He Falsely Accused Trump Supporter of Giving Booze to Teen in Drug-Fueled Plot to Get Him Fired]

Crash, 57, a Massachusetts native, is the author of “the critically acclaimed novel Sex, Drugs and Blueberries and the gritty memoir Tough Island,” according to his own bio on Amazon.

He says he spent a decade as a print and radio reporter in Portland until receiving a writing fellowship from the Maine Arts Commission, which convinced him to pursue book-writing.

“He’s worked as a sternman, sailor, bartender, demolitionist, janitor, alpaca herdsman, cow milker and blueberry raker,” according to Amazon.

And, now, as The 420 Maine Journalist.

Art
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Ted Cohen

Voluntary contributor. Former Portland Press Herald staff writer, bureau chief emeritus. TedCohen875@gmail.com

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