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Home » News » News » “Independent Investigative Journalism” Is Like ‘Cracker Jacks’ – It Comes With A Free Prize
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“Independent Investigative Journalism” Is Like ‘Cracker Jacks’ – It Comes With A Free Prize

Ted CohenBy Ted CohenApril 29, 2025Updated:April 29, 20256 Comments3 Mins Read
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A Maine “journalist” who says he “goes places – and tells stories – that other media won’t” also does something other media don’t – gives away free pot.

Now there’s journalism we can get behind!

Or heck, get high on.

That Crash Barry, he’s a Cracker Jack!

Seems Barry, who prides himself on journalistic independence, decided one way to increase his numbers – or “hits,” so to speak – is giving away, well, hits.

To wit, Crash announced on his Facebook page that he’s awarded his latest freebies to a guy named Noel Kirwan, who bills himself on Facebook as proprietor of “Kerwan imports and seafood.”

Kirwan is also the proud recipient of some free hits, compliments Crash Barry.

“Congrats to Noel Kirwan, one of three winners of The Crash Report’s ‘4-20 Canna-Contest,’” Crash posted.

“Noel told me he’s a ‘very happy chappie’ after receiving pint jars of Lemon Diesel, Blue Dream, Durban Poison and (my fav) OG Kush, plus copies of Sex, Drugs and Blueberries (the book and film), Tough Island and Marijuana Valley.”

“Thanks, Noel, for being a longtime loyal reader and subscriber to The Crash Report.”

But unfortunately for Crash’s followers, the road to a quick high comes at a price.

Crash laments that “due to a mind-blowing and astounding out-of-state fact-finding mission, publication of the latest Crash Report has been delayed, slightly, ’til I get my head on straight.”

Crash Report, aka The Cheech and Chong Gazette?

Crash’s promotional material says that besides being wedded to “independent journalism,” he also has a fondness for “devils and dirtbags, sex, drugs and blueberries.”

But seriously, Crash is more than just devils, dirtbags, sex, drugs and blueberries.

“The Crash Report goes places – and tells stories – that other media won’t,” his dotcom explains. “Curated and edited by longtime Maine investigative journalist and author Crash Barry, The Crash Report afflicts the comfortable and comforts the afflicted.”

The line about afflicting the comfortable and comforting the afflicted was originated by Finley Peter Dunne, who came to the fore during the “muckraking” era of journalism.

So come on Crash, give credit where credit is due. In journalism we call it attribution.

How his recent campaign to get a pro-Trump employee fired from Dunkin Donuts squares with “afflicting the comfortable” might require more than a few tokes to reconcile.

[RELATED: Deranged Leftist Admits He Falsely Accused Trump Supporter of Giving Booze to Teen in Drug-Fueled Plot to Get Him Fired]

Crash, 57, a Massachusetts native, is the author of “the critically acclaimed novel Sex, Drugs and Blueberries and the gritty memoir Tough Island,” according to his own bio on Amazon.

He says he spent a decade as a print and radio reporter in Portland until receiving a writing fellowship from the Maine Arts Commission, which convinced him to pursue book-writing.

“He’s worked as a sternman, sailor, bartender, demolitionist, janitor, alpaca herdsman, cow milker and blueberry raker,” according to Amazon.

And, now, as The 420 Maine Journalist.

Art
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Ted Cohen

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getting played
getting played
10 months ago

i bet he votes democrat for sure. the system has played him hard, so hopefully he knows how to play it… his best hope is score a no bid contract from the state o maine! honestly tho no real indepnedat journalist can be on facebook with out being banned..

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getting played
getting played
10 months ago

i identify as an indepedant journalist, write everything on paper to be published upon my death. ‘ the world as see it’ look for it around the year 2100! taking pre orders now!

1
Noreen Flynn
Noreen Flynn
10 months ago

Google paid $220 an hour on the internet. My close relative has been without labor for nine months and the earlier month her compensation check was 25k by working at home for 10 hours a day…..  CLICK ON PROFILE  NAME

-3
Lowell
Lowell
10 months ago

“a Massachusetts native,”

’bout sizes it up.

1
Lowell
Lowell
10 months ago

Hey Bub, this ain’t Massachusetts Bay Coloney anymore. Might want to keep that in mind.

0
Zimbalistjunior
Zimbalistjunior
10 months ago

Make extra profit every week…This is a great part-time job for everyone… Best part about it is that you can work from your home and earn from 100-2000 Dollars each week … Start today and have your first payment at the end of the week……………………………Tinyurl.com/moredollar12

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