U.S. Defense Secretary ‘Declares War’ On Pizza-Tracking Site, Threatens Random Domino’s Orders As A Cover

As if the nation’s top defense official doesn’t have enough on his plate…

Pete Hegseth told reporters he just learned about a site on “X” that monitors pizza orders coming from the Pentagon.

The originator of the “Pentagon Pizza Report” determined that he could figure out whether there was a major military movement being planned depending on how many pizzas were being ordered in the vicinity of the nation’s defense headquarters.

“Various pizzerias nearby the Pentagon are reporting above average traffic,” the site – which has 376,000 followers – reported Tuesday night.

It also shows bar graphs indicating the rate of business at each pizza parlor near the Pentagon, including Domino’s, Papa John’s Pizza and Wiseguy Pizza.

Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth said Tuesday he’s going to have to start ordering pizzas on random nights just to throw off the monitoring app, according to FromTheHill.com.

Hegseth jokingly said any surge in takeout deliveries to the Pentagon – a phenomenon that has accurately predicted the start of major geopolitical events – could be him ordering pizza “just to throw everybody off.”

Asked about the “Pentagon Pizza Report,” Hegseth said he was aware of the account.

“I’ve thought of just ordering lots of pizza on random nights just to throw everybody off,” he said Sunday on Fox News. “Some Friday night when you see a bunch of Dominos orders, it might just be me on an app, throwing the whole system off so we keep everybody off balance. We look at every indicator.”

The Pentagon Pizza Report tracks “popular times” data on Google Maps for pizzerias near the Pentagon and other major military installations under the idea that sudden surges in evening or late-night activity suggest high-level officials are working later than usual – an indication of potential or current military action around the world.

Hours before news broke on Israel’s major attack on Iran on June 12, for example, Pentagon Pizza Report noted a surge in Google Maps activity from four pizza places near the Pentagon around 7 p.m. – a signal military leaders were staying in place to monitor unfolding events.