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Home » News » News » Annoying Pickleball ‘Racket’ Is All They Have To Hold Over Our Heads
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Annoying Pickleball ‘Racket’ Is All They Have To Hold Over Our Heads

Ted CohenBy Ted CohenApril 14, 2025Updated:April 14, 20258 Comments2 Mins Read1K Views
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When Joe Biden’s would-be successor’s campaign was tanking, the now-retiree came up with a plan he thought would help rescue it – a pickleball call to arms in northern New England.

“No joke” Joe couldn’t scrape up enough wrinkled Democrat retirees from the pickleball courts in the two oldest-demographic states – Maine and New Hampshire – to get him reelected.

But in working-class Kittery it doesn’t take many pickleballers to keep a third-shift hospital worker awake.

She’s hired a lawyer to force a solution.

The net effect of a potential lawsuit has prompted municipal officials to hire a noise engineer to try to figure out how to muffle the irritating sound.

The trauma nurse who works nights “has sought medical care for the stress and health impacts of sleep deprivation,” Kittery Town Council Chair Judy Spiller explained when the complaint first surfaced.

Portland attorney Jeffrey Shafto said his client has been “unable to sleep soundly” due to pickleball noise in a local park.

Shafto said his client has even tried white-noise machines and installing new windows.

The town has put up sound barriers to no avail.

“We made a mistake putting the pickleball court there,” town Councilor Cyrus Clark said. “The only resolution is for it to no longer be a pickleball court.”

Stephen Langsdorf, an attorney for the town, believes the local noise ordinance is for barking dogs and crowing roosters, not pickleball.

The increasing popularity of the “sport” nationwide has triggered a growing number of complaints about the irksome noise it creates.

The game was invented by a politician, no surprise. Joel Pritchard, former congressman from Washington state, came up with the idea in 1965. (The damn ‘Flowers In Your Hair‘ ‘60s.)

Pickleball last year was named the fastest-growing game in the U.S. by the Sports and Fitness Industry Association.

Take that, you Republican bowlers.

All is not lost – even pickleball’s peaking popularity in a presidential election year couldn’t rescue a tired old senile shuttlecock from the jaws of defeat.

Previous Article‘Fully Fit’: White House Physician Releases Details On President Trump’s ‘Excellent Health’
Next Article Mainers to Weigh In on Bill Revitalizing Defunct Property Tax Stabilization Program for Seniors
Ted Cohen

[email protected]

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Maine Coaster
Maine Coaster
11 months ago

I read once several years ago about a woman who purchased a summer cottage at the head of a working fishing harbor up here somewhere . The boats went out to work before sunrise every morning and disrupted her beauty sleep . She wasn’t going to be having it and wanted a new noise ordinance in town, Maybe these two Karen’s were cousins . I’m confident they both wanted us to change to Sheena Bellows’ stupid pine tree and commie star flag .

6
mainereb
mainereb
11 months ago

to previous comment: Different situation altogether. If you read the article you would learn this is a trauma nurse who works nights not a “summer complaint”. Reading is such a great gift when you use it.

2
Common Sense
Common Sense
11 months ago

Apparently this nurse lived where she does BEFORE the pickleball courts were built. Towns seem to be getting VERY lax on pre-planning for noise issues, traffic issues and parking issues BEFORE issuing permits that WILL increase the noise, traffic and parking problems. I feel this nurse’s pain, she has a right to get to sleep in her own home. And, does it matter what is generating the noise, after all, noise is noise and this noise is keeping her awake. Kittery Town Council, please get smart and do the right thing, move the pickleball courts.

3
Lowell
Lowell
11 months ago

“We made a mistake putting the pickleball court there,” town Councilor Cyrus Clark said. “The only resolution is for it to no longer be a pickleball court.”

or shouting down your opponent on the Senate floor. Perhaps bearing false witness, whatever works right?

Let me guess, Maine Municiple Association to the rescue.

4
Maine Coaster
Maine Coaster
11 months ago

“ Reb “
I’m sorry .
You’re absolutely right !
I blame my lack of “ reading for comprehension “ skills on twelve years in the Maine public schools system .
Does that make me a victim too ?

2
Louis Louis
Louis Louis
11 months ago

Maybe they could remove the pickle ball court and put a Portland style drug rehab tent there instead .
Pickle Ball is a fad that will disappear in a few years …..drug addicts will unfortunately be with us forever . Priorities !

2
Just someone
Just someone
11 months ago

So…Because one needs to sleep during the day, the neighborhood needs to hush up? Are there no honking signs on the street? Are children banned from playing too loudly? What if my dog barks? When does it end?

3
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