Jeez, What Happened To The Good Old Days When We Were Talking About Sperm And Not Nazi Tattoos?

OK, enough of the Nazi tattoo already.

Can’t we get back to the fun stuff like the “Great Sperm?”

You remember, the good ole days, right?

When Democrat U.S. Senate hopeful Graham Platner’s wife was talking about how manly he was?

“I can say that, right?” as she coyly asked in a TV campaign commercial in which she gushed over his virility, exclaiming “Graham has great sperm.”

Doesn’t that stand for anything anymore?

Sources say Graham Platner is all in – he is begging us to get back to his sperm count.

After all, if given a choice, which would you rather talk about – your Nazi tattoo or your sperm?

Even Steve Robinson, chief editor of The Maine Wire, has had Nazi tattoos up to his eyeballs

“When Graham Platner first burst onto the Maine political scene, I’ll admit I was taken aback,” Robinson wrote the other day. “Here was a non-effeminate left-wing man who a) did not begin life as a woman, and b) appeared to be, well, manly. (Extremely manly, if you credit his own boasts about his barracuda-like sperm.)

“But then came the Tottenkopf.”

So how about it Graham, how about an update on your sperm?

After all, if it were good enough then why isn’t it now?

You haven’t updated us since you and your wife made that commercial about your difficulties getting pregnant.

Last we knew you and your wife were suspending your campaign, jetting off to Norway for “affordable” IVF treatments.

But then, heck, all the sudden you were on a jet plane returning to the U.S. to talk about how much you hate ICE.

Yes, you apparently put your sperm on ice so you could bring up something you thought your voters would enjoy more than sperm – blasting ICE.

You left Amy back in Norway to fend for herself?

Let’s hear it for an update on sperm!

After all, you can’t run an entire campaign trying to defend why you have a Nazi tattoo on your chest, right?

There we go again, talking about that damn tattoo.

If Graham were smart he would realize one way to get The Maine Wire away from reporting about his bogus claims that he didn’t know he had a Nazi tattoo would be to get back to the nuts (sorry) and bolts – his sperm count.

Let’s hear it again for Great Sperm!